CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."
Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold on......6102049998-45-54610"
Operator: "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan
Kayu.Your home number is 40942366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is
0142662566.Which number are you calling from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?"
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressureand even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator: "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator: "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from
theNational Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how
muchwill that cost?"
Operator: "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The
totalis $49.99"
Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"
Operator: "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash,Sir. Your credit card
is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October
last year.That's not including the late payment charges on your
housingloan,Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and
withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator: "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached
your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator: "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can
always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
Customer: "What!"
Operator: "According to the details in system ,you own
a Scooter,...registration number 1123..."
Customer: "????"
Operator: "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator: "We normally would Sir, but based on your
records you're also diabetic.......
Customer: #$^%
Operator "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987
You were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"
Customer: [Speechless]

!!! நக்கல் நாயகன் கௌண்டமணி சார் !!!

Goundamani: Idhellam arasiyalula sagajam appa

Goundamani: Indiavilayae rendae pudhisallinga... Onnuu G.D. Naidu, innuonnu naan...

Goundamani: sangoothara vayasula sangeetha (Kattapomman)

Senthil: naanum educated family than (Gentleman)
Goundamani: yennada yechakala family

Goundamani: vanthathu wrong yithula songaa (Jai Hind)

Rajini: yenna padichiruka (Mannan)
Goundamani: vellai seiya theriyatha alavuku padichirukaen

Goundamani: unga son peyar yennanu sonniga (Indian)
Senthil: aravindsamy
Goundamani: adupala ventha samy"nnu vainga athan sariya irukum

Goundamani: Gaandha Kannu alagi... start music...(sooriyan)

Goundamani: Gaandha Kann alagi, ah inga pus... ah left la pusu...ah right la pusu...

Senthil : idhu yeppadi annae yeridhu? (referring to the mantle of a lamp)
Goundamani: Appadi kelu da, koomoottai thalaiya. idhu irrukkae vellaiya moottai madhri, idhu paer thaan 'Mantle'.
Senthil: (after crushing the mantle) idhu yeppadi annae yeriyum.

Ommakucchi: Narayana naethu 420 casela, saelathula mukkia pramugar kaidhaamay.. (Sooriyan)Goundamani: Aen Coimbatorela mukkina kaidhu panna maataangala?

Goundamani:Patha vachitiye parate.... (Pathinaru vayathinile)

Goundamani: Narayana... Kosu thollae thala mudiyalae da. Yethavathu marundu adichi kollungada...(sooriyan).

Goundamani:Ada kalutha meykkara payalukku ethanai arivaa nu ellarukum porama da (Chinna koundar).

Goundamani:Vadakupatti ramasamy ku kudutha munnuru ruba ...oooo!!!...oooo!!!

Goundamani: Adangappa sami reelu anthu pochuda... (Maman Magal)

Goundamani: (to a mandhiravaadhi)Aiya! Oru Karichatti mandayan, panni vaayan, kaluvaadha moonji, oru pannada mandharavaadhikitta kaasu kudhuthu yen kaiya kattittanya!
Goundamani: Neenga enna mandhiravaadhiya illa maattu brokera?

Goundamani: ivana un chittappan? enna panran?

Senthil:panni meykkararnga!
Goundamani: Adhane! pinna ivanukkenna banklaya vela tharuvanga?

Goundamani: (to senthil) enda!evanungala un sondham? Neeye nari mondha sodhana kuzhayla porandhavan unakku ennada sondham?

someone (brushing and singing): "Thirupughazhai paada paada vaaimanakum .."Goundamani: "Apram yenda nayae pal velakara?... apadiye paaditu pooga vendiyathu thanae..."

CBI officers: "Sooriyana sutathu yaaru?"
Goundamani: "So sad! Sooriyana yaarum suda mudiyathu.. Sooriya veppam than namala sudum.."

GoundaMani: Mummy Daddy Edavadhu Sappadunga Podunga Ma
House Owner: ( Scolding His daughter) Unnai Oru Pichaikaranukku Kattikodupene Thavira, Unnoda Kadhalanuku Katti Kuduka Matten

GaundaMani: Mummy Daddy Edavadhu Ponnu Erundha Kodunga Appa

GoundaMani: Can i give an Amuku (to Kamal in Singaravelan)

GoundaMani:"heyeai Naan rombe busyyy...."

GoundaMani:(Entering CBI officers room)trying to take his seat on the chair....
CBI officer:(ordered to take off the chair)
GoundaMani:(By looking at the Gandhiji photo)Satthiya sodanai!!!!
GoundaMani:Oru phone pannikalama
CBI officer:No
GoundaMani:sari...ok..sari naan 5* hotel'e pannikerean
CBI officer:Take him...

GoundaMani:polam polam arasiyalna ithellam irukerathanne...

Kumarimuthu: Intha manithanai adimai paduthuvathu romba romba sulabam.. Intha adimayin peyar enna
Goundmani: Antha adimayin peyar Michael Jackson..
Kumarimuthu : Avar Yaar??
Goundamani : Ngokka purushan..

Police: Yele, madras la hawala mosadi valakula agent ivan than nu eludhule...
Parthiban: Uiyyala, Mukabula theriyum. Adhenna Hawala ?
Police: Yele moodhi, adhu anniya selaavani valakku le
Goundamani: Hmm... Ulloor selavaniku vakkilamathan naanga inga vanthu nikkirom. Adhula enna anniya selavani...

~~thanks to Net Friends